In Response to Kelly's "Apples and Snakes"

Preface: please regard "ASIDE I" under "Welcome!".

Yes I do find apples and snakes comparable, and after weighing their similarities, I found that apples are better. Kelly, for God knows what reason, finds this extremely irritating and tries to tell me HOW to compare items. This is wrong- Kelly here is how I know that apples are better:

1) They do not bite you.
2) If they were to bite you, they would not be venomous.
3) Apples do not shed their skin.

The list goes on- the point here is that the combination of items that have similarities is infinite Sammy licking my bowl is the same as House walking on the kitchen counters. While I am willing to recognize that does not excuse my behavior, if House can go where the food is- so can Sammy.